The Dragon Club

Actual note left on my Fridge Aug. 23 1997

Dear asshole,

Here is a list of things that piss me off about you:

1. You never never never wash you dishes, they pile up in the sink, stink and mold.

2. Your room always has a wierd smell, close your freeking door, vacuum, wash your clothes, get some Glade, whatever it takes!

3. Stop making burn spots on the couch, or just stop having that five-alarm chili before Full House hour.  I wish you only breathed fire.

4. FUCKING scales in the bathroom sink, shower, floor, toilet sink!  FUCKING SCALES everywhere.

5. Next time you catch a stray, DO NOT leave the carcass in the back yard.  Scared the shit out of me when I took out the trask last week.  I hope you get rebies.

6. I take out the trash every week!

7. I know you ate my last eclair from Martine’s dinner party a few weeks ago, Roger does not do that shit.  And he doesn’t drink orange juice from the carton and singe the container.

8. I will never live another dragon again, you are the crappiest wingman ever.  Why do you like girls with “gland problems” and you can’t even talk to them.

Well, that pretty much sums it up.  I think after our lease is up I’m going to move in with Rusty and Merv.  Good luck finding a new roomate, I can pay for my half of the kitchen table and chairs, but you fucked up the couch, so i think you owe me for damages.  My buddy Amir is gonna grash on our floor for like a week, so that’s why he’ll be hanging around.

Whatever,

Zeke